*walks into school*
today my little brother (hes six) put a seashell to his ear and told me the ocean said im a nerd
those commercials where kids actually take the time to draw designs on their toaster strudels and are actually happy in the morning despite the fact that we’re all dying and existence is pointless
is this the new Ninja Turtles Movie?
don’t joke about how far I’ve come
HOW CCUTE ARE BONERS LIKE BLOOD IS RUSHING TO THE PENIS WHICH REALLY MEANS THE PENIS IS BLUSHING LIKE HOW CUTE IS THAT SOMETHING MADE THAT PENIS BLUSH????
is this a fanfiction from 2007
I push everyone away but in a way I’m doing them a favor
do you ever just wonder what the fuck is going on in stock images
imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine
"Can you take a picture of us please?"
You can literally answer “that’s what the government wants you to think” to anything
that’s what the government wants you to think